Things you need to consider for assertive communication:
- Examine your rights: What do you want or need and what are your feelings about the situation? Make sure to use “I statements” (for example: “I tend to get so busy taking care of Mom that I forget to ask for help.”).
- Describe your thoughts and feelings clearly so that the other person can understand your point of view. Give detailed information. For example: taking care of Mom for two hours involves feeding her a snack, turning on the radio to her favorite station, and taking her to the bathroom every two hours.
- Be persistent and flexible: Maybe you won’t get exactly what you asked for, but you will get something that will be helpful.
- Break it down into smaller parts: It’s usually easier for people to say yes to a little request than to a big one!
- If you feel you’re getting nowhere with your efforts, take a break, agree to think about it, and talk again another time.
- Practice with your helper, if appropriate: For example, get together with Mom for two hours first, before your helper does it alone, so the helper can learn what is involved and feel more confident that he or she can handle the situation.
- DON’T GIVE UP! It may take many attempts before things change.
Alzheimer's Assn.