Mirela Article - Replace Unhelpful Thoughts

Minimizing Stress

The most important part of minimizing levels of stress is to become aware of how you view a stressful situation. By focusing on the situation at hand, you enable yourself to understand what is really going on, then confront and replace the negative thoughts in your mind that are ultimately leading to stress.

Tackling Unhelpful Thoughts

In tackling negative thinking patterns, the important thing to remember is not to bury your emotions. Bottling up emotions may seem like a quick-fix to many stressful situations, but it actually leads to unresolved emotions, resentment, and sometimes physical illness. Although the techniques we will teach you today cannot protect you from life’s frustrations and disappointments, the techniques we offer—if practiced and used consistently—will buffer you from the sadness, anger, and other negative emotions you may be experiencing.

Negative Thought Styles

To help you get a better understanding of this concept, below you will find some of the most common negative thought “styles.” As you read them, think about how you or someone you know might fit into one of these types.


Negative Thought Patterns / “Styles”

  1. Over Interpreting:
    1. Generalization
      1. Drawing conclusions with few facts
    2. Personalization
      1. Assuming others think of you negatively or have negative intentions toward you
    3. Emotional Thinking
      1. Using your feelings as the basis for the facts
  2. What’s the Use??
    1. Thinking that your efforts are not effective in changing your situation
    2. Can intensify depressed mood and inactivity
  3. If Only (the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Syndrome):
    1. The “regret” style of thinking
      1. Spending large amounts of time thinking of things you should have done or said differently.
      2. Difficult to be in the “here and now”
  4. Name Calling:
    1. Attaching negative labels to yourself or others. For example, “I’m a loser,” “I was a bad wife,” or “My husband is an idiot.”
  5. Tune in Negative/Tune out Positive:
    1. You recognize only the negative aspects of the situation and ignore or discount the positive accomplishments.
  6. This or That (No In-Betweens):
    1. You see your choice of outcomes as “either-or” with no room for the options that fall in the middle. For example, “I’m either a success or a total failure,” or “I never get things right, I’m always messing up.”
  7. Doomsday Thinking:
    1. When you convince yourself that the future looks hopeless and bad outcomes are inevitable. People who think this way are often called “eternal pessimists.”

Which of these styles sound familiar
to your way of thinking?

Tips on Challenging Negative Thoughts

Tip 1 – A Different Point of View:

Imagine that you are giving a good friend advice for the same problem you are facing. What would you suggest they do? What would you say to comfort them and help them feel more positive about the situation?

Tip 2 – Take Action and Ask Others:

For many caregivers, it’s usually beneficial to get additional information about the issue at hand. There are many support groups out there that not only provide you with valuable caregiving information and advice, but by engaging in such supportive social activities, you might even develop priceless friendships with people that can share in both your successes and disappointments.

Tip 3 – Give Yourself a Pep Talk:

 It may feel awkward for you at first, but try giving yourself a bit of compassion and praise. By doing this, you open yourself up to see things from a different perspective. You might even begin telling yourself, “I’m a great caregiver, and I’m proud of how I’m handling the situation!”

Tip 4 – Accept and be Open to Changing Circumstances:

If a situation doesn’t end up going the right way, it can be easy to jump to conclusions. Think to yourself: “Jumping to conclusions never solved anything. So I need to slow down and look at what’s really going on. There’s probably another explanation.” Remember that your loved one’s situation will continue to change, and whatever your efforts—successful or not—they make a huge difference!

 

In conclusion, it helps to take a moment at the end of the day to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life. Keep in mind that there are some things over which we have no control and cannot change.